In Music as Medicine, I explore the intersection between mental health, the healthcare system, and the coping mechanisms I’ve developed in response to a lack of appropriate medical care. Due to both geographical and systemic limitations, I am often unable to access the medications, adjustments, or appointments I need to manage my mental and physical health. This ongoing disconnection from proper care has led me to seek out alternative forms of healing, the most meaningful of which has been music.

On the far left and right of the series are six paintings of medications I no longer take: a bottle of testosterone, a syringe for the testosterone, Prozac, Ibuprofen, Zoloft, and Lexapro. Each painting serves as a record of failed or finished attempts at treatment, fragments of a medical history that could not offer the stability I needed.

Between these works, I’ve placed a portrait of Luke Hemmings from a photoshoot for I’m Still Your Boy, a song from his 2024 album Boy, which, for me, reflects on self-worth trauma and finding beauty within pain. I’ve also painted my weekly pill caddy, a direct reflection of the daily management of my current medications, including Wellbutrin, Vitamin D3, Topiramate, Allegra, Biotin, Testosterone, Alpha Lipoic Acid, Ondansetron, and Vitamin B6.

The final painting depicts Twenty One Pilots’ album Clancy, a record that navigates themes of depression, suicide, anxiety, and love, offering hope through honesty.

As the healthcare system continues to deteriorate, I find myself turning more fully toward these alternative forms of care; toward sound, connection, and community. Music as Medicine is both documentation and declaration: a testament to the necessity of coping mechanisms when systems fail, and to the ways music continues to heal what medicine cannot.

-Meraki Gardner